i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Send help, water and tortillas.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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