plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
