you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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