Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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