I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
