Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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