Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
