...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
