We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
If I had your ass I would rule the world
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
