His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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