using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
