Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
