HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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