Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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