It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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