the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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