i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
