you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
