From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
