remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
