I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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