i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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