Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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