omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
