i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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