I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
