omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
