That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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