is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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