Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
