ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
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I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
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Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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