If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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