He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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