it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
