Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
