found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
