You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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