Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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