What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
