I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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