I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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