I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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