So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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