She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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