I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The air taste purple.
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