i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize