Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Randomize
