If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
