he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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