i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
