Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
