i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
