Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
