help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
