My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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