I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
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