you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
