I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
