I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
