weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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