Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
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