Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize