Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize