hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
