Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
please come you make the beer taste better
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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