she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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