On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
