Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
