so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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