just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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