4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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