I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
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Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
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It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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